Tuesday, August 13, 2013

The Courage To Give Ourselves a YES

Recently, a colleague of mine asked me for advice when it comes to confidence. Of course, I wrote so much I decided to make it a post and share it with my deep thinkers, because it's a message all of us should hear!
We have to muster the courage somehow to say yes to ourselves. But it isn't always easy.
Here's the deal: worry, self-doubt, and fear are 3 bitches that show up at the worst times. They're not our friends but they don't leave us the #%*£ alone. No matter my confidence level, I definitely have to deal with them time and time again.

When learning to tune them out and conquer the "no" we give ourselves, we have to be proactive. My suggestion? Start with a daily "I AM" affirmation (homework!)

I also think that whatever confidence I have built up is due to my blog. I truly write for me, to help myself, and hope that it helps others in the process. So I think the positive vibes become cyclical (what we put out into the world, we get back).
This leads me to the second step (homework). Once a day consciously say (write/text) something encouraging to someone, anyone, and see how you feel. Sometimes what we tell others is the exact sentiment WE need to hear.

Why am I dishing out work? Because once we get the courage to try that certain something, and put ourselves out there, we must also prepare for rejection and failure. It's all part of building a strong foundation to repel the "no" from hurting our hearts. That way we remain steadfast on our journey.

When it comes to rejection, I try to remember my "I Am's" and I talk to myself in an encouraging way. It's easy to take it personally. It's easy to beat ourselves up. Believe me, I struggle. But when I become present in the moment, control my thoughts and direct them positively, it helps.

Slowly you see that although you may have reeled from the "no" a few years ago, your perspective has since shifted and you're like "ok, this 'no,' opened up a 'yes' for me somewhere else. This is a good thing."

This way we can learn to detach. Take the no, the constructive criticism, (or sometimes not constructive but #%£€d-up words) and look at it from afar. Analyze it. Analyze how you feel and why. Then see that for what it is: someones opinion.
If you can learn from it, great. If not, let it go.

This isn't to say you won't or can't have "a moment" of tears or anger, but don't stay in that place. That's when those 3 bitches show up! Lock. The. Door.
And finally-remember that you are strong, beautiful, kind, talented and have built a foundation for the YES you are looking for. That YES you want, the YES that is right for you, is on its way. The UNIVERSE is working in your favor.

Have faith.

Start with the mind because what you believe will become your reality. Now, look in the mirror (last bit of homework) and say "I believe in you. I believe in you. I believe in you!"

Now go out there and rock it!