Thursday, September 8, 2011

What About Your Friends? | Guest Post

"What about your friends, Will they stand their ground, Will they let you down again; What about your friends, Are they gonna be low down, Will they ever be around, or will they turn their backs on you"

I met my "first" best friend in grammar school and I thought we'd be friends forever. At the end of fourth grade, she told me her parents bought a house in Long Island and they were moving. I was devastated. How can my best friend leave? We kept in touch for a while via letters and phone calls but with distance and new friends eventually we lost touch.

I made my life long friends in high school. There are seven of us who have remained close for almost 20 years. {I know I'm dating myself but I don't care.} In those years many people have come and gone into the group but the core of us remain. It has been interesting to watch how the friendships change within the group as the years and life experiences go by.

The girl I was closest to when we first met, is not the same girl I am closest to now. I love her just the same and we support each other but we do not see eye to eye on everything like we did when we were 14 years old. This only makes sense because we are not the same people we were back then. I get it, friendships change. One friendship in the group is so dear to me and has been a constant over the years. Its had many ups and very few downs. However lately its different and I don't know why. All of the sudden things feel "off" and I can't pinpoint when it changed.

Actually I do know some of the why. I was hurt by something that happened. It was unexpected and made me take a step back, which may have caused hurt in return. Somehow I can't find the words to tell the person closest to me that I'm hurt. I have shut down a bit but I don't want it to be that way. I feel our friendship is in trouble and I've tried to call but the phone calls have not been picked up.

All this makes me look at myself. Yes, I've changed in the last year, probably more than in all the 20 years my friends have known me. Could this be a factor? Probably.

I can't help finding my voice, changing my way of thinking , and being more myself than I ever have been. I've worked too hard to feel bad for any of those changes. What I didn't expect was how a change in me has affected the other relationships in my life. Some have gotten closer and some a little further apart. I'm sad and I'm happy about this because in the end I have to be true to myself. I value all my friendships and I'm trying to figure out how to get back to where we were. It all has me wondering if people grow up or grow apart. I can't tell right now.


This beautiful and insightful post on the ever changing nature of friendship, how we evolve into the people we are meant to become, and the growing pains that come along with that process is by my dear friend Patty.

Patty was one of the first bloggers to stumble across HerDeepThoughts. I didn't even know her at the time, yet she left such heart warming comments -I could tell that she totally got me. It's no wonder that I feel such a kinship to her only two years after having met her in person, courtesy of BlogHer.

She is so full of life and love. You can see it just by reading her beautifully written posts. And if you're as lucky as I am, by meeting her in person. Get to know A Day In My NYC. Get to know Patty. She is a force to be reckoned with and a blogger to watch!