Sunday, April 24, 2011

Giving Up The Dream

After the ups and downs of the past week, there was a moment where I considered giving up on my dreams. I felt like I was trapped and the only way out would be to give up juggling my aspirations so that I could better handle my responsibilities.
The wind began to switch
The house, to pitch
And suddenly the hinges started to unhitch

Me at Madam Tussauds. Dress: H&M. Shoes: Steve Madden.

My time is needed to take care of matters like helping my mom with the apartment rental, the issue with the property damage, saving money, finding a new job...and basically getting back on that linear path.

I told Sorayu, "life would be a lot easier if I stopped chasing my dreams." And she said, "exactly. Anything worth fighting for is never easy." That statement gave me pause.

The fact is, Sorayu gets me. She gets that when I do something, I mean it. When I say I want to act and that I love blogging, she knows that writing and acting are two things that allow me to be 100% myself.

But when I feel like my family needs me, for some reason the first thing I consider is stopping doing what I love, to handle more practical matters.

When the thought to tear down my vision board, put my hopes and dreams away in a box, and shove it all under my bed came to mind, I felt an ache in my heart... 

*sigh*...can't do it.

If there's one thing I know it's to trust my feelings. If the decision does not make me happy and will not benefit the collective whole, then I should not pursue that decision.

A huge part of my blog is dedicated to you, my readers, in the hopes that you will join me in the dream-chasing business. If I give up now, then what would have been the point of it all?

Dreams change, they evolve and the things we love now may lead us to things we love better. And if that happens, so be it...but it's still in the dream-chasing category. If I pack it up and go home, well, that's just a cowardly thing to do. And I'm no coward.

"Read what my medal says: 'Courage.'     Ain't it the truth? Ain't it the truth?"
-Cowardly Lion, The Wizard of Oz.

I am an amazon associate. So if you purchase an item through my amazon links, I get some cha-ching in my wallet, which makes me happy.