Thursday, March 24, 2011

Stuck In The Middle

I've been feeling bummed lately about where I'm at: Purgatory.

Not for-real purgatory, (ie the DMV), but my own personal middle ground, waiting for my ticket to be called up to the next window where dreams come true.

Maybe its because March is the longest Month in life, or that I haven't committed to a vacation because I'm worried about time off from work as it relates to my acting (days needed for auditions, call backs, and *fingers crossed* more bookings!). I think I'm just worn out. I've been doing a lot of talk about vacation, a lot of checking prices on flights, but no purchases. 

The worrying, the constant thinking about tomorrow...the urgent willing to make acting my day job (and for blogging to be a source of joyful income), is taking its' toll. And I'm so very tired from all this resistance to the now.

As the Universe would have it, I heard two people tell me the same thing yesterday: You only life this life once: make the most of it.

Live it. Live for Now. Isn't that what I try to practice... "mindfulness?" When did Mindfulness get up and leave? Who let worry and self defeat through the door? No one invited those mooching jerks into my home.

It's time to amp up my meditation practice. It's time to stop the worrying and just trust in my efforts.

"If [I] could clear out all that space in [my] mind [I'd] have a doorway...and you know what the Universe'd do? Rush In. And everything else will take care of itself." 
-from the film Eat Pray Love. 

It's time to get out of this in-between... this middle place. It's time to move forward, that's all I can do. And trust that the Universe will rush in.

I am an amazon associate. So if you purchase an item through my amazon links, I get some cha-ching in my wallet, which makes me happy.