Thursday, December 2, 2010

Love Handles and The Grumpy Girl

I sat with Sorayu yesterday and bitched had a candid conversation on how my body has been shot to hell changed over the past few months.

Over the summer I was trying to shed 5 (FIVE) pounds. Just 5. I complained about five pounds. Why? Because I didnt want to go over the most I've ever weighed in my entire life: which is 130. 

I'd been going from 127 to 130 but never back down to 125. Then I started to get busier, started blogging more, started going on more auditions, stopped working out.... and over Thanksgiving I ate like an animal.

Fast forward five months later and I have put ON 6 (SIX) MORE pounds.

My size 7 jeans are not making the cut. I have chichos (love handles) hanging out over the top. That's a muffin-top, no? YES. That's sexy. I am constantly pulling them up over these chichos and now understand how mom-jeans are created.

I've stopped working out and yet I say to myself, "but I still eat right, right?" Maybe that's what people who don't eat right say. I need to check myself before I wreck myself.

My birthday is fast approaching.   I have no excuse. I should be hot-to-friggin'-trot with my abs (that must be somewhere underneath that spare tire...they used to be). But no. I  need to buy myself a bigger pair of jeans (and I'm hanging my head in shame as I look at the Jillian Michaels DVD I gave up on). Maybe I should just wear a snuggy.  
Jillian Michaels: 6 Week Six-Pack
I do not have those abs.

Ok ok, I know I'm bitching and moaning here...mind you, I'm still within my BMI. I am 5'4" tall, so I'm at a healthy weight. And I'm  ALL ABOUT a healthy weight. I'm never gonna be a skinny mini (and I don't want to be), because I'm naturally curvy. I'm Latina, hello?! I like my butt. But I miss my waist!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

When I take my On-Camera acting classes and I see myself on screen...that healthy natural curviness, looks ten pounds heavier. Not voluptuous. Heavier. Cameras are soooo unfair. And when I move, everything jiggles. Everything. Call me J-E-LL-O.

But I'm not gonna beat myself up about it. I may continue to  bitch complain, but I'm ALSO going to get off of that curvy ass, and get back on the Jillian Michaels track (since I only did it for like two weeks), forget about the numbers on the scale (because my eye glasses must add an extra five pounds, c'mon), and bring some exercise back into my life (as I write this I just got that Losing It With Jillian Michaels daily email... *sigh* yes, Universe, I hear you.).

I will keep you posted on the How The Hell Do I  Lose Ten Pounds journey. Wish me luck.

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