Thursday, December 9, 2010

Freak Show: Come One Come All (The Unmarried )

Traditionally, I should be married with kids by now. But I'm not. I'm ok with that. But it seems the world is still not really ok with that.

In one of my a favorite Shakira songs (from the late 90's), she tackles tradition and uses these beautiful words to make a point, especially about the traditional role of women in latin culture:

There are a bunch of "rules" that I don't follow in this song (which I know Shakira didn't follow either), which I guess makes me (and made her) a rebel.

Pies Descalzos, Sueños Blancos
Pies Descalzos, Sueños Blancos by Shakira

What type of rebellious behavior? Well going against the traditional grain! I walk around barefoot (hence, the title of the song) and I hate wearing pantyhose, so that's two strikes already. And the line: "Women always get married before 30," gets me everytime.

Obviously, being married before 30 is a traditional notion. And God Forbid...what should happen if you don't follow tradition (as the song implies)!

This is what happens:

1)  Online, you will be mistaken for a mom blogger, then hang your head in shame when you are rejected for not being one.

As a female blogger, I get pegged as mom-blogger.One of my friends said, "why do they automatically assume I'm a mom blogger?" I dunno. Maybe because they don't dare imply we're ...dun dun dun... beyond marriageable age.

2)  In real life you will hang out with your married mom friends and be Auntie Biddy or Auntie Spinster. Or Tia Solterona. You will also be harassed about your singleness.

You would think in this day and age that people would be like "you're still young, you don't need to be married and have kids right now." And although they might say that, I have a sneaky suspicion that in the back of their minds they're thinking, "really? you're not married and you don't have kids? What's the deal?" [change the inflection as needed]

Why do I have that sneaky suspicion? Because in my family they actually say that to my face. Then they tell me I need to catch up with their baby-havin' ways and start wishing twins on me. They're also placing bets, I'm sure of it.

How do I reply to the constant badgering on my singleness? I tell them that I don't need to have kids right now because they've got enough to pass around. Why? Because they actually do. On average all of my 35 cousins have two kids each. So my genes will just stay in my chicho-laden jeans for now.
As someone who is "beyond a marriagable age" then it seems I will only get to "dress saints," (as the song goes) because traditionally, I should still be chaste enough to do so - and I won't have a choice, because what else does an unmarried woman with no kids do? Which begs the question, what does a saint-dresser wear? Do I need to buy a black veil and long rosaries to do that?  Maybe my blog should match my gloomy umarried, no-kid, non-chaste, hag life... hmmmm.

One of my tweeple online also said the following during yesterdays twitter party which sparked a mini conversation on singleness:

Thus, it appears all of us beyond a marriagable age will become part of @vicequeenmaria's "solterona sin hijos" or  "solterona bloggers" [or the english-only versions] Non-Mom-Bloggers  / Spinster-Bloggers club.

All three of you out there in the world and in the blog-o-sphere, please stand up. I need to buy you a black veil.

The Sharkira link is from I am an Amazon Associate.