Thursday, December 23, 2010

Can We Have It All?

Che had "the talk" with me. We were sitting over a candle lit dinner at the ever glamorous California Pizza Kitchen, and he leans in...

Che:  "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Me: "Well I definitely won't be at the firm, my acting career will be flourishing for sure, and my blogging will have really taken off..Oh! And I'll have started to actually work on the book I want to publish...[off his stare I stop babbling and pause...] wait, are you talking about us?"

Che: "Um, [embarrassed] yea... I mean, I was wondering if you changed your mind about settling down. "

Me: "oooohh ... I mean.. are you talking about marriage and kids and the whole sha-bang?"

Che: "yea... do you  want that?"

So there's the question. Is that what I want?

I've never been a woman to look for that, or to ask for that, but I kind of just thought it would happen when it happens, if it's meant to happen. But I can see where Che is coming from.

Over the past few years, I went from being on a career track where the "next step" would be to settle down... instead I did an almost literal 180 degree spin, and started a "different career path." I guess if you're looking at life on a time line of things you should do by a certain age or at a certain time, that might mean I wouldn't want to settle down until my life was in order.

But that's not the case. I don't think we ever really have our ducks in a row. We don't have the luxury of waiting until things are in order to begin living. And I am living, right now, as a single woman, without kids. 

I love Che so marriage isn't out of the question. I love kids, and so, kids aren't out of the question (besides he already has kids). But there's this thing called TIME. Time is the issue. How long can I wait before it's too late?

Would marriage and having a family bring my career to a halt? Will it stop my dreams in their tracks? 

Alternatively if I put marriage and starting a family on the back-burner, will it be too late for me to have those things when I've finally got the fire burning when it comes to my career?

I sure hope not.

What do you think? Can we [women and men alike] have it all?