Tuesday, January 19, 2010

My Biological Clock is...

Ticking? Not Ticking? How do you know? Mona Lisa Vito (Marisa Tomei) of My Cousin Vinny (1992) was pretty clear that it was time for her to have a baby.

And according to society and cultural norms for Latinas, at thirty, I should be married and having babies. What?! That's too soon!

I'm not married.
I have no babies.
Have I failed?

I dont know. According to older relatives and younger friends who are already bound to a marital contract or are wiping bottoms, the subject ALWAYS comes up.  "Don't you want to settle down?" "Don't you wana wid-doo baby?"


I have no plans to be married yet and am certainly not planning to have babies any time soon.
And why not? Because I'm happy just the way I am. I'm very busy overhauling my life and career and think that I'm in a really selfish place. I think the only real need I would have to be married is if I wanted to have babies.

And I can't even take care of plants.

I'm in a really great relationship but I think that whole part of my life can wait. But for how long? And will nature be kind to me if I do?

There have been many times where I've been around women who were ready for a family whether they had partners or not. I knew one woman who was baby crazy. What is baby crazy? Ju-do-no?
Baby crazy: you're single and you're with your single friend at an all inclusive resort on a tropical island full of resort-loving gorgeous single people and you both go to the bar to get a drink, but on the way there she stops dead in her tracks at the sole family on vacation to ooh and aah at a little chubby baby sitting in his mothers lap. [Tick ,Tock. Tick, Tock.] That - to me - is baby crazy.

Is that madness going to happen to me? Is it already happening?

Women get a raw deal. Especially Latinas. We have to be super mujeres [super women] and get the degrees, the career, the house, the car, get a man that also has all his ducks in a row, settle down, have a church-load of kids and juggle it all while looking like the sultry villain in a novela [soap opera].

And it's all supposed to happen before you're THIRTY.  Or else you're jamona. [an old maid].

We have this small window of time to procreate before we miss the boat. At this point in my life, I don't want to miss any boats but I don't want to get on any right now either.

I'd just like to take a flight there when I'm ready.

What do you think?

Have You Failed If You're Not Married With Children By Thirty?

Yes. You're grown. Get to it.

30 is the new 20, so there's still time.

No! Your body. Your Life.

Times is ticking... start prioritizing.


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