Monday, February 1, 2010

"From the Window, to the Wall..."

When I started this blog I thought that I would have a forum to just let my thoughts fly without worrying about anyone's feelings. As a writer, I draw from my life experiences. The only modification I usually make is a name change. However, a little digging on google, and my identity is quickly found out, then you can connect the dots to find out who the frequent characters mentioned in my blog are.So there goes the "secret identity" and its all out in the open.

Knowing that my identity and the identity of others may be discovered, have I now inhibited my creative freedom? Should I censor what I write for the benefit of others?
Especially when it comes to my relationship, do I have to curb the information that I share? Shirely P. Glass, (as cited by Elizabeth Gilbert in "Committed") states that the walls and windows of a relationship must be in the right places at all times.

The windows allow the outside world to see what you allow them to see of your relationship, but the walls keep confined the very private aspects of your relationship. When you start sharing what's behind those walls with someone other than your partner, you rearrange the structure of your relationship.  Does this sound confusing?  Elizabeth Gilbert does a better job at explaining this theory:

You reveal secrets about yourself... you throw open a window where there ought to be a sold, weight-bearing wall....not wanting your spouse to feel jealous, you keep the details of your new friendship hidden...You have just built a wall between you and your spouse where there really ought to be free circulation of air and light..." - Gilbert, Elizabeth. Committed. New York: Viking, 2010

Although the context of this discussion is on how infidelity is introduced to a relationship, I wonder if it applies to the writer. It seems far fetched, but bear with me - if you share you deepest feelings on your blog and not initially with your partner, are you creating a recipe for disaster?

When I read this part of the book, I immediately went to my partner and read it to him. I started a conversation about how he feels about my blog and explained to him that writing is my release. He seemed to understand but reminded me that the conversation needs to start with us, from within our walls. But what about the windows? Where can they safely be put without me sacrificing my retreat (this blog)? Or do I have to censor myself? 


When it comes to your relationships (your partner, your family, your friends, your children) do you share what going on - the good and the bad - on your blogs/on twitter/in your books?