Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Beautiful Words

When I was ten years old, a friend of the family gave me a diary. It was a small, white, hard-covered diary with a tiny combination lock. On the cover was a girl with flowing brown hair, sitting on her window sill, writing. In my mind, it looked like me. This book contained all of my thoughts wrapped in my little-girl handwriting. Every time I wrote, it was almost like a letter to God. 

This book was my solace in my small confused world. I would sit on the top of my bunk bed surrounded by pictures of Taylor Dane, New Kids On The Block, Janet Jackson, and Paula Abdul. I'd write about my favorite music. I’d rant about my parents fighting. I’d write short sentences about how scared I was that they would split up and how I’d pray it would all be ok. I’d write about how I wanted to protect my little sister. I’d write about how I wanted to be a singer/dancer/actress/writer/reporter/gymnast, everything in the world.... I'd write about secret crushes and all my secret wishes. I’d write little prayers and give thanks for my family. This book kept the thoughts, hopes, and imagination of a small girl tightly locked away from the world.

Writing has always been my refuge. In times where I thought I could not suffer any more or when I couldn’t be any happier, I would write. I would write my way back to sanity when tears weren’t enough. Words, precious little words, kept me grounded. Many years passed where I had given up on the pursuit of writing, but I’m happy to report that I’m at a point in my life where I am giving my creative side a chance. Instead of pouring out my heart into my little locked diary or my present day journal, I write it out here on my blog – where my words will linger for anyone and everyone to read. 

Maybe if I’m lucky, I will move someone – or many – with my words. And if I am ever able to do that, then I will have put whatever gift God has blessed me with to good use. For that I am grateful. 

I hope you all have something to be grateful for this year. I know I do. 
Use your words wisely. 

All My Best,