Monday, July 20, 2009

Carry Your Baggage...

Dear Ms. DM of US Airways:
Did you really have to take out the blasted measuring tape for my carry on? The same one I came in with? Are you serious? Do you realize that the little pouch in the front is the only thing making it exceed a few inches, and when I remove it, the pouch will flatten and it will measure just fine? You DO know that I'm just going to put it back? Are you actually looking at my license again? Ok, I will take it out and open my luggage in front of the whole world (three couples behind me) so you can measure my bag - the bag classified as a carry-on bag by Liz freakin Claiborne. The bag they had no problem with at LaGuardia. The bag that passed before the eyes and hands of at least 5 US Airways employees. (I knew I shoulda just done the Self check-in. ALWAYS listen to that little voice). Ok world, watch as I kneel on the floor in all likelihood flashing some butt cleavage. Everyone, lets take a long look at the rolled up pink polk-a-dot bathing suit and my flat iron. Watch as I grumble and Ms. DM flashes an irritating smile at me. Arrrrggg.

So Ms. DM, now do you see that it measures fine with the baggy that carries 3oz. fluids INSIDE the carry-on bag? Ohhhh you DO see how the pouch flattens. WOW what a surprise! Now YOU can watch as I hold up the line, reopen my bag, and put it back in the front pocket because you KNOW security is going to make me take it out anyway!

I showed her. You can kiss my arse DM of US Airways!

[stomping through the security check-point]

Arrrrrgggg I hate you US Airways!

My freakin' NY temper. [seething]

Alright, let's take a breath...
I know we both said some things...
But just get me home safely, US Airways. Can you do that?

*photograph taken at airport.